The Backstory, Part II

July 3, 2005

The Backstory, Part II

After the workshop, I went online and asked for preliminary forms from the North Carolina Synod. My journal at the time said, "Until they come, I'm safe. I'm inching along this new path in the dark but haven't totally plunged. Put your hand in mine, God! That will be better than a light and safer than a known way!"

The forms also required an essay. In only five pages, I was asked to discuss my faith journey and sense of call. The best analogy I have is that of a stove burner. For several years, the burner was turned on Low and I was faintly aware of its warmth. But when I first came to the Lutheran church, the flame was turned up, quietly and steadily. All this time, my sense of call was persistently nudging me. This nudging could not be satisfied any other way, to help others grow in faith and to grow myself.

The essay took three weeks. The paperwork took at least that long. It's a German church, folks. There were various forms to be given to the church, and approvals given and so on. After several months of sticking my toes in, I've plunged!

One of the people I asked for a personal reference at church said he doesn't feel as though he knows me well enough to fill out the form. I appreciate his honesty, but it puts me in a bind. The reference has to come from someone on the church counsel. That's a dozen people, but I don't know them all well. I ask a very kind and thoughtful woman I do know, just before the Christmas Eve service, and she agreed right away. She went to Framingham State College and was good friends with Christa McAuliffe.

I think I must be the most dense candidate the synod has ever seen, unable to get the hang of what forms go where! One of the pastors is confused to. I do something regarding the congregational council, but I don't know what. I figure if anything is missing, the synod will let me know. I'm not sure what lies ahead, but I have faith that God is with me as I go.

February 2000: Initial interview and psychological evaluation. !!!
The intervew was with the pastor of a Lutheran church in Winston-Salem. He asked about my spiritual journey, childhood, family and plans. He is obviously good at interviewing people, but I was nervous. He asked me to list three strengths and growth areas. I listed as strengths my ability to connect with people, my energy and enthusiasm, and my strong sense of compassion. My growth areas were my impatience, my temper and my need to pace myself. The synod hasn't seen my temper. Yet.

As part of the process, I was asked to reflect on why I feel called to follow in the Lutheran tradition. My journal reflects that I embrace the theology of the Cross, or what Bonhoeffer called "costly grace rather than cheap grace." For more, I recommend "Baptized, We Live" by Daniel Erlander. I also am drawn to the unique and holy individual and corporate worship, covenant, sacrifice, and journey embodied within the sacraments of Baptism and the Lord's Supper.

The psychological evaluation started out with an armload of forms -- personality tests, sort of -- that came in the mail and that I had to fill out. Then there was a five-hour session with a psychiatrist in Winston-Salem, including lots of talking and more forms. The results went on for pages and pages but the bottom line is that he thinks I'm very well suited for this.

The synod candidacy committee people told me about The Fisher's Net, a Web site by which students can be distance learners, taking M.Div. level courses online for credit. It is run by Luther Seminary in St. Paul, and professors from, I believe, all eight of the ELCA seminaries contribute to it. M.Div. is a Master's of Divinity degree, the one that I would earn.

I signed up for my first course in spring 2001. It was taught by a wonderful professor, now, sadly, deceased, James Kittelson, the author of "Luther the Reformer," a terrific biography. It was a course in church history covering about 1400 to 1800. It was a lot of work but great, very challenging and also reassuring about whether I was capable of graduate-level work.

Greek is required at most seminaries and is a prerequisite for a number of courses, so I thought I would take that next. Some online courses work better than others. Learning Greek online just about amounted to teaching it to myself and did not work. I struggled desperately with it through two semesters and part of a third before I bailed out. I lost three semesters in which I could have been doing other work -- because I still had a full-time job, I could manage only one course a semester -- but I think it was the right decision.

I took several other courses, including two in Systematic Theology in back-to-back semesters without quite realizing what I was doing. Systematic Theology is horribly hard, and the pastors were very sympathetic when I told them what I was studying. I made it through both of those fine, however.

Meanwhile, in 2003 Mark began his own dental lab after 25 years of working in other dental labs. He makes ceramic crowns and bridges for dentists and other labs, and Artisan Dental Ceramics had begun to thrive. We talked long and hard about making a change before I finally decided to quit my day job. I waited until late January of 2005, and we got rid of our credit cards and sold one of the cars. I also lined up part-time work. See the link on this blog to Slices of Heaven, a wonderful place that makes specialty breads and that is run by truly special friends.

I signed up for two courses for the spring semester of 2005 online, and it was a challenge going from one course to two. However, it was good practice toward becoming a full-time student.

For the most part, I think that covers the boring logistical business. Tune in to The Backstory, Part III, to resume.